Thieves...

I am distressed and amazed to find out some truths about what others have said about women who have been abused, either as children or as grown women. I am even more distressed to find out that what I have heard has actually come from women.

Someone has been reading this blog and though they have absolutely no idea who I am intimately they have chosen to make extreme comments to others that have caused much turmoil and greater distress to an already stressful situation.

Comments have been made regarding a woman claiming abuse as a child. The most distressful of these comments was a statement claiming that most women who claim abuse as a child are making it up for attention.

I want to say right here, right now, that I know of no woman who would claim sexual abuse as a child to gain attention. That sort of comment could only come from someone who has never met me, but has relied on an account of me from someone who needs to defend himself right now and has used my trust in him to attempt to defile me, my family and my name. Abuse in any form is destructive, and potentially crippling to its victims and anyone relying on second information regarding this to form an opinion of me is doing themselves and others an injustice.

I am a woman who unfortunately suffered abuse as a child for over eight years because my abuser convinced me that no one would ever believe me and that if I ever told my parents they would get rid of me, so I never told. Instead I found a way to survive, not as a victim but as someone who found a hope buried deep inside myself, in my darkness, where I couldn't be found, I dreamt of more, of better things, I found a place to live.

I believe that there in that dark place, where no one could touch me, I found God. I knew nothing of God of the bible back then, I knew nothing of guardian angels, I knew nothing of universal love, I knew nothing of positive thinking, I knew nothing of focus, I knew nothing of what could be, I just knew I could feel someone with their arms around me and in the darkness telling me ever so clearly...'I've got you, it's okay'! I have had God, this God with me every moment, every day ever since, loving me and helping me to live a better life.

In hindsight, I could have lain down and been a victim, I could have claimed the abuse I suffered to get attention, I could have spent my life escaping into a life where it was everyone else's fault, I could have spent my life creating havoc, I could have spent my life in self pity, I could have spent my life never ever taking responsibility for my actions... but I didn't. With my belief that God had held me and walked through every moment of my childhood with me, I got off my butt and determind that no child of mine would ever go through the same thing and that I would make sure that I provided for myself a real bricks and mortar place of comfort, peace and retreat, where if anyone dare come to abuse me again, I could kick them out and lock the door!

The bible says that satan comes to steal, rob and destroy. Maybe that's why I felt the presence of God so young in my life, my life, that could have turned out more bitter, more puposeless than it has. Maybe I am stronger than I give myself credit for. Maybe my trust in God has given me a lot more in life than I give credit for. Maybe my trust in God has protected me more than I realise.

I have brought up two wonderful children to be two amazing adults. Kyle, my son to my husband, Phillip Keogh who we lost so early, is an absolutely amazing guy. He has a winners heart and regardless of his loss as a child, he has conquered more than many young men I know. Chanelle, my daughter to my second husband Bruce who I am now divorced from, is a beautiful lady, who has grown up to be independent of the need to have a man provide for her.

My life has been surrounded by things that have come to steal, rob and destroy from me...childhood abuse, death, divorce, liars, racism, a car accident that broke every bone in the right side of my body, people who have tried to take advantage of what I have accomplished and claim it for themselves, and people who make statements about me based on information received from someone who needs a defence right now. But the truth is, you can't take what you didn't earn.

You can tell a tree by its fruit! If I am the tree and Kyle and Chanelle are the fruit, then I've done pretty darn well. The fruit of my love is them, what I have provided for them, the loving family they have been brought up in, the loving home they can always return to, the wonderful extended family they belong to, and the legacy of hope, power and love that they have inherited from me will sustain them a lot longer than the legacy to take no responsibility for your actions but blame others, and gather as many people as you can to agree!